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Mark Twain states the theme: "No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave." Newlyweds (James Brolin, Margot Kidder) inspect the new home, shock cuts to the familial slaughter from the previous year adduce a note from In Cold Blood and set up the sales agent's punchline ("It's all included in the price"). The demonic spirits dwelling in the property resent the intrusion, a swarm of vilely buzzing flies is unleashed onto the vein-bulging padre (Rod Steiger). Chairs rock by themselves, cats hiss by the window, black goo bubbles up from the toilet. Dad morphs into a grouchy lumberjack, staring with red-rimmed eyes at the logs crackling in the fireplace while Mom tries to piece together the mysteriously shattered Virgin Mary statuette. "Based on a true story"? Other gags in Stuart Rosenberg's horror retelling of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House include porcine eyeballs glowing in the dark while Lalo Schifrin quotes Psycho's shrieking violins, Murray Hamilton reprising his Jaws character with a clerical collar, and Helen Shaver's rendition of a hippie wife moved to pickaxe-wielding paranormal glee ("Boy, are these vibes ever so strong"). The introductory vision of the house as a demon-head with gleaming window-peepers is taken from Tati's Mon Oncle, what follows is a remarkable collection of botched frissons. Unless... The loose staircase ornament? The brother-in-law's misplaced cash? The little daughter's imaginary friend? Brolin's cuffing at the bar counter? For a lyrical-gruesome yarn about possessed realty, check out Lucio Fulci. For an abstruse lampoon of It's a Wonderful Life, look no further. With Don Stroud, Michael Sacks, John Larch, Amy Wright, Val Avery, and Irene Dailey.
--- Fernando F. Croce |