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Punishment is just another art form in Renaissance Florence, a special one is reserved for the Borgias: "We will put hot eggs under his armpits, we will soak his feet in salt water and allow the goats to lick them." Buffoonish Duke (Frank Morgan) and shrewd Duchess (Constance Bennett), both thirsty for a fling, both patrons of the Lothario-goldsmith (Fredric March). (He orders plates for a banquet, she orders a replica of the boudoir key to be delivered in person.) Seduction "more grievous than murder" pushes the artist into palatial bedroom farce along with his young model (Fay Wray), a Raphael beauty of heavenly obtuseness. "For your own sake, don't be any dumber than absolutely necessary." Korda's The Private Life of Henry VIII is the jumping-off point, Gregory La Cava's own satirical dash makes the period sets and costumes dance with libidinous mischief. The Duke asks his mistress to call him "Bumpy" and feigns sleepwalking to avoid getting caught, the Duchess keeps a former suitor's heart in a silver urn and expounds on the lacking nature of men while decapitating a gelatinous effigy. The hero whisks the maiden away to his mountain hideaway but it's too late, after regal luxury all she can see in "the threshold of paradise" is sheep dung. "The tragedy of all great ladies is to discover that the men with the most exaggerated reputations make the poorest lovers. That is the reason we probably marry half-wits." Whiskered mothers, poisoned goblets, dungeon aesthetes. Rogue and regent live hornily ever after, for the benefit of Edwards and Lester. "He can climb my garden wall any time he wants to." With Louis Calhern, Vince Barnett, Jessie Ralph, Jay Eaton, Paul Harvey, and Irene Ware. In black and white.
--- Fernando F. Croce |